Once upon a time in a height and weight gifted living arena, a Prince's daughter grew up happy and contented, in spite of a hormonally homicidal stepmother. She was very terminally attractive, with blue eyes and long black hair. Her skin was delicate and fair, and so she was called Snow Caucasian. Everyone was quite sure she would become very anatomically gifted. Though her stepmother was pleasantness challenged female child of Earth, she too was very collagen dependant, and the supernaturally gifted mirror told her this every day, whenever she asked it.
"Reflective device, reflective device on the wall, who is the loveliest lady in the land?" the reply was always; "You are, your royally gifted female," until the dreadful day when she heard it say, "Snow Caucasian is the loveliest in the land." The stepmother was furious and, wild with jealousy, began plotting to get rid of her rival. Calling one of her trusty paid slaves, she bribed him with a rich reward to take Snow Caucasian into the forest, far away from the height and weight gifted living arena. Then, unseen, he was to put her to living impairment. The wealth orientated paid slave, attracted to the reward, agreed to do this deed, and he led the innocent age-challenged female away. However, when they came to the fatal spot, the man's courage failed him and, leaving Snow Caucasian sitting beside an oxygen exchange device, he mumbled an excuse and ran off. Snow Caucasian was all socially challenged in the large area of oxygen exchange.
(Later on in life, due to his embarrassment with the Snow Caucasian incident, he became a sexually focussed chronologically gifted individual)
Daylight challenged came, but the paid slave did not return. Snow Caucasian, alone in the brightly challenged large area of oxygen exchange, began to shed salty droplets of water from her tear ducts bitterly. She thought she could feel terrible eyes spying on her, and she heard normality challenged sounds and rustlings that made her heart thump. At last, overcome by tiredness, she fell asleep curled under an oxygen exchange facility.
Snow Caucasian slept fitfully, wakening from time to time with a start and staring into the challenged brightness round her. Several times, she thought she felt something, or somebody touch her as she was momentarily consciously disabled.
At last, dawn woke the large area of oxygen exchange to the song of the flight gifted-s, and Snow Caucasian too, awoke. A whole world was stirring to metabolic ability and the age challenged female was glad to see how silly her fears had been. However, the thick oxygen exchange deposits were like a wall round her, and as she tried to find out where she was, she came upon a path. She walked along it, hopefully. On she walked till she came to a clearing. There stood a normality challenged cottage, with a squared area challenged door, squared area challenged windows and a squared area challenged chimney pot. Everything about the cottage was much more squared area challenged than it ought to be. Snow Caucasian pushed the opening device open.
"I wonder who lives here?" she said to herself, peeping round the kitchen. "What squared area challenged plates! And area challenged bowls fixed onto sticks! There must be seven of them; the table's laid for seven children of Earth." Upstairs was a bedroom with seven neat size challenged beds. Going back to the kitchen, Snow Caucasian had a thought that invoked images of approval.
"I'll make them something to eat. When they come home, they'll be glad to find a meal ready." Towards dusk, seven vertically challenged men marched homewards singing. But when they opened the door, to their surprise they found a bowl of hot steaming soup on the table, and the whole house spick and span. Upstairs was Snow Caucasian, fast asleep on one of the beds. The chief vertically challenged individual prodded her gently.
"Who are you?" he asked. Snow Caucasian told them her sad story, and tears sprang to the vertically challenged, but otherwise perfectly normal individuals' eyes. Then one of them said, as he noisily blew his nose:
"Stay here with us!"
"Hooray! Hooray!" they cheered, dancing joyfully round the little girl. The vertically challenged individuals said to Snow Caucasian:
"You can live here and tend to the house while we're down the mine. Don't worry about your stepmother leaving you in the forest. We love you and we'll take care of you!" Snow Caucasian gratefully accepted their hospitality, and next morning the vertically challenged individuals set off for work. But they warned Snow Caucasian not to open the door to strangers, although they said it with a respect towards her, consistently making claims that they did not think of her as an age and intellectually challenged female.
“Oh shit, we forgot to mention our sequenced letters of identification,” said one of the vertically challenged individual.
And so, here they are:
Intellectually Challenged – Noted that he is the only vertically challenged individual to have gained follicular independence.
Individual of Constant Discomfort and Happiness Deficient – Pretty damn angry.
Medically Practised – Noted that he uses apparatus to aid in his sight. To be said that he is the most intellectually able of the group, but we are also all equals in this world, so it does not matter.
Whatever the Politically Correct Way of Saying Happy is
Conversationally Selective – He is the quietist of the group, although he should not be judged because of it.
Nasally Over-Active – Sneezes everywhere, but we should not pick on him for his clear allergies to everything.
Teenager – No, that’s politically incorrect. Just because it has become a stereotype that teenagers are always tired and sleep a lot, that does not make it true however.
Meanwhile, the servant had returned to the castle, with the blood pumping muscle of a roe deer. He gave it to the cruel stepmother, telling her it belonged to Snow Caucasian, so that he could claim the reward. Highly pleased, the stepmother turned again to the magic mirror. But her hopes were dashed, for the mirror replied: "The loveliest in the land is still Snow Caucasian, who lives in the seven vertically challenged individuals' cottage, down in the large area of oxygen exchange." The stepmother was beside herself with rage.
"She must become biologically challenged! She must become biologically challenged!" she screamed. Disguising herself as a chronologically gifted economically unprepared woman, she put a poisoned apple with the others in her basket. Then, taking the quickest way into the large area of oxygen exchange, she crossed the area of unsanitary water at the edge of the oxygen exchange deposits. She reached the bank unseen, just as Snow Caucasian stood waving goodbye to the seven vertically challenged, but otherwise perfectly normal adult children of Earth on their way to the mine.
Snow White was in the kitchen when she heard the sound at the door: KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Who's there?" she called suspiciously, remembering the vertically challenged individuals’ advice.
"I'm a chronologically gifted financially inept female selling apples," came the reply.
"I don't need any apples, thank you," she replied.
"But they are beautiful apples and ever so juicy!" said the velvety voice from outside the door.
"I'm not supposed to open the door to anyone," said the chronologically challenged girl, who was reluctant to disobey her friends, despite the fact that she was perfectly able of looking after herself in every way.
"And quite right too! Good girl! If you promised not to open up to strangers, then of course you can't buy. You are a good girl indeed!" Then the old woman went on, continuing her patronising efforts.
"And as a reward for being good, I'm going to make you a gift of one of my apples!" Without a further thought, Snow Caucasian opened the door just a tiny crack, to take the apple, although she would accept no more, purely because of the chronologically gifted woman’s patronising language.
"There! Now isn't that a nice apple?" Snow Caucasian bit into the fruit, and as she did, fell to the ground in a faint: the effect of the terrible poison left her metabolically challenged instantaneously.
Now chuckling not very nicely, the wicked stepmother hurried off. But as she ran back across the area of unsanitary water, she tripped and fell into the grained substance from which there is no escape, with apparently no bottom. No one heard her cries for help, and she disappeared without a trace.
Meanwhile, the vertically challenged individuals came out of the mine to find the sky had grown brightly challenged and electrically gifted. Loud thunder echoed through the valleys and streaks of lightning ripped the sky. Worried about Snow Caucasian, due to the obvious pathetic fallacy suddenly introduced they ran as quickly as they could down the mountain to the cottage.
There they found Snow Caucasian, lying still and metabolically inactive, the poisoned apple by her side. They did their best to bring her around, but it was no use.
They wept and wept for a long time. Then they laid her on a bed of rose petals, carried her into the forest and put her in a crystal bed of the metabolically challenged.
Each day they laid a flower there.
Then one evening, they discovered normality challenged, chronologically challenged male admiring Snow Caucasian's lovely face through the glass. After listening to the story, the royalty gifted individual (for he was a royalty gifted individual!) made a suggestion.
"If you allow me to take her to the height and weight gifted living arena, I'll call in popularity gifted doctors to waken her from this normality challenged sleep. She's so lovely I'd love to kiss her!" He did, and as though by illusion by which no one can seem to translate, although mentally gifted people do try, but the slightly average child of Earth would surely realise that this practise is merely practise, and so should not be considered real by any means, but of course that would be politically incorrect, so just bloody believe it, the royalty gifted individual's kiss broke the illusion by which no one can work or explain. To everyone's astonishment, Snow Caucasian opened her sight apparatus. She had amazingly come back to metabolically gifted status! Now in love, the royalty gifted individual asked Snow Caucasian to marry him, and the vertically challenged, but otherwise perfectly normal individuals reluctantly had to say good bye to Snow Caucasian.
From that day on, Snow Caucasian lived happily in a great height and weight gifted living arena. But from time to time, she was drawn back to visit the size challenged cottage down in the large area of oxygen exchange.
Note: The following is extremely racist, but in a politically correct way. If you are super PC, you may want to read on, and then explain to me how I wasn’t politically correct at all and in fact this entire story is just a mockery of your politically correct views. Otherwise, avert your seeing apparatuses.
And then, a filthy Caucasian-y challenged black man ran in on the couple when they were engaged in an activity of unspeakable horror for small children; however it is a practise done by many adults, no matter their sexual preference. Anyway, the nigger put a cap in the Prince’s ass, and then jammed his hoo-hah in Snow Caucasian’s vagingo. She then missed her hormonal homicide stage, and then realised that she had become parasitically oppressed. Serves her right for being horizontally accessible. If Snow Caucasian really thought about it though, she was glad to be freed from being the Prince’s unpaid sex slave. In fact, in her time she thought she had become a domestic engineer, and now with the slightly symbiotic being growing inside her, knew she would get a break from the fucking housework once in a while. After eating her baby, she became a sex care provider and ended up a client of the correctional system.
Note: Turns out, political correctness is absolute bullshit.
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